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[27 Aug 2007|07:17am] |
I'm so happy that I'm moving in 2 weeks. I don't know what changed my mind. I don't know if I was just blinded from being in school or if I just haven't noticed things before because of my age and maturity level ..I'm not really sure, but recently I've been realizing what my dad has been talking about for the majority of the time we've been living in Pennsylvania and most of his life, actually.
This town is a dead end town. There is absolutely nothing in it. There is no room for advancement and there is no room to succeed. I mean I guess that all depends on what your definition of succeeding is. There are no good jobs in this town. The average income in a year is $30,000. That's $20,000 LOWER than the national average. The factories in this town have closed down long ago, which would pretty much be the only decent paying jobs. That being said, the town has went to shit.
It's not just the jobs, either. The whole town is shit. The people here are the meanest people I've ever met, and I'm not sure why. If you ask anyone that has been to another state for more than just a vacation, they will almost definitely tell you the same thing. I don't know if it's because they're bitter because there are no good jobs and they can't get out, or what ..but almost everyone here is either a liar, a cheater, a drug addict or all three. Occasionally you'll find a good person and believe it or not ..they want out too!
This is a welfare state. Everyone is on welfare, even if it is not needed. People here would rather get payed just enough to get by from the government than bust their ass and make a DECENT living. I think that's another contribution to the decline of Altoona.
I just needed to get that off my chest. I've been out of school for a few months now and I've really started to see what my dad was talking about all this time. I'm happy for him and for our family and for me that we finally have the means to get out and go to a nice place in Florida. He's finally going to get what he wanted for so long back and I'll get to live in a place where I can actually do something with my life. My advice to anyone living in Altoona is to get out of here as soon as you can and anyone not living in Altoona ...don't come!
P.S. Maybe an update on everything else later. Maybe.
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[28 Jul 2007|08:47pm] |
so my sister is getting married in two weeks..
but that's not the point of this post.
the guy she is getting married to is in the army, and he's real cool. he hates the army for a number of reasons, but he's in it. Anyway, he came over last night and told me he has a gift for me and I asked him what it was and he told me this story that he was in a band in high school. He has all this stuff he doesn't want and will never use and knows I'm really into it, so he's giving it all to me! A bunch of recording stuff, a Gibson guitar, a Fender guitar, an Ibanez bass ..then he came over today and said he also found a Pearl drum set with Zildjian cymbals that I can also have. We're going over Friday to get it in his paps truck and his parents Jeep.
I'm so excited!
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[10 Jul 2007|10:55am] |
I don't update this for a while and then I have this really long post that no one will ever read. (:
So I'll just keep this one short with little facts.
- i broke up with megan the other night because she's untrusting and jealous.
- i graduated from high school.
- i'm moving to florida next month.
- my van died, but we might fix it. If we do ..I'm giving it to my dad cause he likes it so much.
- I got a new car. An Acura Legend. I like it a lot.
- the band broke up ..eh, who cares.
- i do! i'm gonna start another one.. in florida probably.
- my music tastes have changed a lot ..i like everything from punk to reggae to rap to country to rock to acoustic stuff ..anything really.
- nothing really else worth posting.
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[11 Feb 2007|04:54pm] |
So it's been a while since my last update ..a ton has happened since then and I'm not about to post every detail ..I mostly just want to post about my weekend.
Friday I had school and whatnot and did dishes and stuff afterwards. Megan was going to a school dance with her friend Alex (Alex is a boy) ..I didn't mind that at all, I trust Megan. I guess they went out to eat with a bunch of people and to the dance afterwards. Well, before the dance ..Nichole told me to go bowling around 9:30 so I could see Megan in her dress and everything. Well, Brendan was going also ..but he was going at 9, so I just went and met Chris and Brendan at the door and we waited in my van until we saw someone we knew.
Finally we saw Little Nate, so we screamed and he came running over and gave everyone hugs and everything. Then, I saw Megan ..she looked really nice. She had her hair done real nice and her nails and she had this really nice strapless red dress ..she looked really nice in it. She came up and opened the van door and was like Baby! and gave me a kiss, and I told her she looked nice but she didn't here me and walked away, which was kind of weird. Then she went inside. Well, we all decided to go into the bowling alley after she did, and when Brendan, Chris and myself went in ..we had this weird vibe ..like they didn't want us there or anything.
Megan wasn't really talking to me, like ..i could tell something was wrong, I just didn't know what. I tried talking to her but it didn't really work too well. Then I saw her talking to a few of her girl friends and she was crying and I felt so shitty, like I didn't know what to do. Then finally after a while of that she came up to me and gave me a huge hug and we stayed like that for a while. Then we kissed and I asked what was wrong and she just shook her head and hugged me some more. It was like a movie, sort of ..it was really cute. Then things seemed fine after that, I had my arm around her for some of the time and i hugged her from behind and that kind of thing. She said she didn't really want to be there, so we went to the van and hung out with Brendan, Chris and Little Nate and listened to oldies and we cuddled and kissed till she had to leave.
I love Megan, I realized that. Like, I was never one to just say it if I didn't mean it, I always felt really awkward, but I don't.
The reason she was crying was something to do with that Alex kid and some stupid shit he was saying. I don't remember exactly, she didn't tell me everything he was saying. He said something about all the shit she has to go through and he wants her to have a good life and not have a guy like me using her. I really don't understand why he would say things like that, when he doesn't even know me. I don't even know what he looks like. I think he was just trying to make himself look like a good guy and make me look bad, because he likes her. Brendan told me that.
After bowling and everything I went back to Nates house until Megan called for me to pick her up. I picked her up at around 12:45. I was kind of mad on the way to pick her up because I called and her friend Laura said not to do anything with her, because she's drunk and won't remember. It's not even the drinking that bothered me ..I mean, I don't do it and I think it's stupid but if she wants to then I won't stop her. It's the fact that she told me she wasn't going to and also the fact that she knew we were spending time together and it was supposed to be special and stuff ..and I wanted to see her. Not drunk.
Well, she got in the car and I was kind of eh ..I couldn't really tell. I was acting sort of mad, and I asked her if she drank anything and told her what Laura said. She said that Laura was a liar and she didn't drink anything. Then a couple minutes later, she said she did have two shots but wasn't wasted or anything. Then she kept asking if I was mad but I told her I wasn't. I mean, I really wasn't mad ..just disappointed. I wanted it to be nice and I wanted her to be there ..all of her.
We got back to my house and went in my room and it was kind of awkward because of the car ride here and the drinking and everything. Then I hugged her and said I wasn't mad or anything and she's like 'are you suuree?' and I was. I could tell she wasn't drunk or anything and she was there. I just told her why I was a little upset. Then we sat down and layed next to each other and held hands and talked on my bed for a while. Then we started kissing and things and I knew she was sober, I really didn't want to do anything with her if she wasn't. But she was, and we ended up doing things. There's really no reason to go into detail other than the fact that ..well, lets say I lost my innocence. :P I'm not telling that to show off or anything, it's just that it's a big deal and I'd like to remember. I'm really happy it was with her. I'm sure she was the right person and I won't regret it.
Around 315 in the morning I took her back to Lauras house and then I called Dom and Chelisea cause Chelisea needed a ride home and I took her home and brought Dom back here with me. We just talked and listened to music all night till we fell asleep. We woke up around 3 in the afternoon ..we went to bed around 5 in the morning. We picked up Chelisea and she bought as McDonalds. Then we went back to Doms for a little bit and hung out and then I took Chelisea home and Dom came back here again and we played guitar and stuff, then he walked to Cheliseas house and I talked to Megan on the phone for a while and I fell asleep till Dom came back. Then we both went to sleep. Today Dom and I woke up and picked Chelisea up and we went to McDonalds again ..I just took them back and dropped them off. I came back here and talked to Megan on the phone about mushy stuff ..like what it would be like if we stayed together and got married and everything.
It was such a confusing/busy/fun/crazy weekend. I still have more driving and band practice and stuff in about an hour. I'm going to be so exhausted tomorrow.
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[29 Dec 2006|05:16pm] |
I had a real amazing night last night.
I went to Lock Haven to see Megan at her grams house. That was pretty fun, we exchanged christmas presents and I talked with her Aunt and Grand Mother a little, too. Then her uncle gave me a snare stand which was real nice of him, and he had Megan and I hammer a few nails because his 'fingers were too fat.'
After that we went over to Megans cousins house to babysit while her cousin and boyfriend went out. The little girl we babysat was pretty cute, she kept saying 'cody's mine' and hanging all over me, which is kind of funny. After she went to bed Megan and I watched this movie, I forget what it was. Then her cousin and boyfriend came home and after they went to bed Megan and I had our alone time on the couch. I won't go into details but it was a nice night.
We didn't end up going to sleep until 6:30 in the morning and I left Lock Haven at around 7:15, so I'm running on less than an hour of sleep right now haha.
On the way home I got lost really bad and ended up somewhere I never heard of. I asked these biker dudes for directions and they were pretty helpful. The ride home from there was actually kind of nice, it was all back windy mountain rodes and there was a bit of snow and the sun was shining. It was real pretty.
I got home and despite complete lack of energy I jammed on my drums because they are the last day they'll be here instead of Nate's house. Most of my day from then on was boring, except I got a new camera for Christmas from my parents, which is really sweet ..I missed having one.
This post is mostly just for me to read back on and remember last night ..though, I don't think I'll be forgetting it anytime soon.
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[28 Dec 2006|08:22am] |
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Mister Monster - This night I call (bad luck) |
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I hate when people make their life out to be worse than it really is. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does. I guess because there's people out there with such bigger problems that makes most of these people's 'hard life' look like a walk in the park. Now, I know that someone elses problems don't maky anyone elses less significant ..but ugh just open your eyes and you'd see your life isn't as bad as you make it.
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[26 Dec 2006|09:00pm] |
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Seems like most have been having a bad Christmas. That's what I've observed anyways. That's pretty sad I guess, Christmas used to be my favorite time of year. My Christmas wasn't spectacular, we didn't really exchange gifts due to lack of funds, we didn't spend Christmas day together because of work and I had to eat dinner at Nate's house ..but really, it wasn't so bad. It could've been a lot worse ..not getting gifts doesn't really bother me, but it sure wouldve been nice to give some.
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[17 Dec 2006|06:11pm] |
Things are a little crazy for me right now.
To start ..my parents are living in Washington D.C. right now and my dad is working there for 13 weeks. I don't know how long that will last though, because they screwed him with taxes on his paycheck and took about half of his money. I'm staying at my house until the guy that bought it pays it off. My sister stays here with me some nights and some nights she stays at her house. Most people would probably think about parties and shit when they have a house to themselves, but I don't think I'd have the time or energy for a party even if I liked to party myself.
The band is kinda hitting a rought spot. Things were going good but after Nichole broke up with Booger seems like when things start going to shit. Booger knew Nichole for no more than a month when they broke up and they were only going out for about a week. They've been broken up for almost 3 weeks, I think and he's still being all depressed about it. He told me he can't find happiness in anything else and he thinks he loves her. That kind of makes me mad because that means he can't find happiness in being in a band, playing shows, music ..or more importantly, family and friends. Him being like this makes me just not be able to stand practice because he's so bummed, and it makes Nate act retarded and I don't know why ..that's just Nate. It makes Dom pissed off and I don't blame him, he's acting like they've been married for 17 years or soemthing. Between Booger being depressed and apathetic about everything, Nate being almost retarded and Doms temper ...it's just not a good mix. Dom and I get along though. I don't know why, but we haven't fought at all since the band started. We've decided that we'll probably always be in a band together, with or without Booger and Nate.
I don't have a job which makes paying fines (I got another damn fine today) a bitch, and it makes everything else a bitch. It's not like I'm not trying. I'm trying to get a job ..I got applications for some grocery store, Barnes and Nobles and another place last night ..I forget where. Hopefully atleast one of those places call ..a job would really help me out about now.
I talk to Megan everyday on the phone. I don't see her that often because of shit with her aunt and uncle, which kind of depresses me because I'd really like to see her and I miss her a whole lot. It's okay though, I understand she's going through a lot and she's been through a lot ..and I'd wait as long as I have to, It'd just be nice to see her soon. I feel so bad about how she's treated, it's not fair to her at all. Her councelor said that she needs her friends now more than ever and they are going to have a conference with her aunt and uncle on wednesday I think. I really hope that helps them realize some things about Megan and how they are treating her.
On top of all that ...my dad said I have to make a decision if I'm going with them to Florida or not ..because chances are he is going down pretty soon and needs to know how big of a house to look for. That's kind of a stressful decision ..each place has a lot to offer and I just have no idea what to do.
I was reading old journal entries today and the pattern of my life is usually things are going real good and easy then things get all hectic and crazy, then with time they start going easy again. I'm really looking forward to the easy part.
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[19 Nov 2006|07:13pm] |
My weekend was really great.
Saturday I woke up around 11 and started getting ready to go to Lock Haven. Had a lot to do and didn't really leave the house until around 4, then Booger and I went to CiCi's to pig out on some pizza before we hit the rode.
So we left and didn't get on the highway until around 5, I think. It's about an hour and a half drive and we didn't really have any trouble finding it until we were in the neighborhood. Mapquest told us to take a road that was no longer there, and replaced with a cement factory. So we called Megan and Nichole and they met us, and showed us how to get back to Megan's grams house. She was visiting for the weekend and they wanted us to come up and visit, too.
So we got out of the car and they told us there was people waiting for us inside, who we had to meet. AH! It was like half of Megans family and it was ALL girls. They talked with us and laughed and such, so it wasn't so bad.
So her family left and her gram went up to her room to leave us alone. Booger and Nichole jumped on the couch, so Megan and I sat on the floor together. It was okay though, we cuddled and kind of watched two movies, but we were kind of off in our own little world. After the movies were over her gram came down and told us we better get going if we wanted to be home before 11, because I still have a junior license. She didn't know we were sleeping in the van right out front. ;)
Well since we were "leaving," Nichole and Megan walked us out to the van. We kind of seperated from Nichole and Booger, so we could have our alone time. Well, we hugged real close and she said they would call us when her gram went to bed. Well, Nichole went back inside and Megan was going to, but I stopped her. I kind of brought up real quick how I really like her and think we should make things 'official.' I guess things already felt like that for me, but I know she wanted me to ask that, so I didn't mind. So now, we're going out ..officialy. :]
So she went back in and Booger and I just chilled under our blankets in the van until they called around 11:45. They decided they wanted us to sneak in, but Booger was afraid we'd get caught and wouldn't. So, Nichole snuck out and layed in the van with Booger and I snuck in Megans grams house and layed under the covers with her. We watched tv and talked and laughed and cuddled under the blankets, and it was really nice. Booger called around 1am, and I told him I didn't want to come out yet. So after that we shut the TV off and she kind of put the top half of her body on me and put her arms around me, laying down. We talked about all kinds of things and laughed and pretended to argue. Well, our lips happened to touch. :) We kept talking with our lips touching. Then I bit her lip, just softly and she did it back and then I kissed her. We kissed a lot after that, and you know ..made out and whatnot. It was pretty amazing.
So around 2 something, Booger called and there was cops outside. It was because there was a fight at the bar parking lot we parked in. So Nichole snuck back in and I snuck out and jumped in the van and chilled some more with Booger. They came back out around 3 to tell us goodnight and Megan said thanks a lot for coming and we kissed again and they went back in. Then Booger and I slept in the van till 6 this morning and headed for home. We started off going the wrong way, but figured out pretty quick and then had no problem.
It was a really great night.
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[14 Nov 2006|11:14pm] |
I'm tired but I'm in a fantastic mood. I don't know why.
I think maybe it's because at this moment, I've got nothing I have to do. I don't have to do homework, do laundry, wash dishes, drive somewhere, plan the rest of my future(hah.) ..really, no problems right now.
An update on the moving situation. I'm not.
However, that last post wasn't a false alarm or anything. My parents really are moving and really soon. I had to decide whether I wanted to move with them or stay here and live with my pap/sister/nate until I figure out what I'm doing. So atleast until graduation, I'm staying here.
For the first time in a while ..I feel wanted. I feel like people really like me for me and they're not trying to gain anything by being my friend. I feel like my friends right now are very close friends. I'm not saying that the friends prior to this realization (i sound purty smart) were just distant friends that were using me for something. I just feel with these friends that they really care for me as much as I do them, and that really is a nice feeling.
There's really nothing new to say about Megan. We hung out on Monday and I feel like we got even closer this time and we're really starting to get to know each other now and I think I want to make things official next time I see her. I mean, to me I think that kind of thing should just be assumed or whatever, but I know it'll make her happy to make things official, so it's really not a big deal. I just care about her, mostly.
Everything is good. Friends, Megan, the band and us recording Thursday and even school. I'm happy. :)
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[05 Nov 2006|09:15pm] |
Today was really nice ...well just one particular thing made my day really amazing. Otherwise it would have just been another shitty Sunday.
Well Nichole called at like 10:00 because Megan had to go home kind of early and Nichole wanted to come see Booger and Megan wanted to see me. So they came over around 10:30 and we all hung out on the basement.
LET ME PAINT THE PICTURE.
Drew and Nichole were on the big couch, Nate was on the chair and Megan and I were on the love seat. Nichole and Drew were holding hands because theyre already basically together ..it was pretty cute haha. We were all talking and it was nice. Megan and I ended up getting closer and closer on the couch, till our arms crossed. Then she was rubbing my hand and we were kind of talking to each other and I smelled her hair and stuff haha. Then we rested our heads on each others and I grabbed her hand and we held hands and we all talked and laughed like that for a while ..and I know it doesn't seem like much but it was probably the happiest I've been for a while.
Other than that ..the weekend was good. Got my hair cut with Dom, it looks okay. Then we played our show and watched Ceasefire from Philly play. They were real good and kept thanking Literal Truth for bringing them here, which was sweet to hear someone thank us. Also we got payed $25 which was kind of nice, too. :)
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[03 Nov 2006|10:19am] |
Just an update on what's going on.
We got our phone turned back on, so I'm on dial up once again. However, we're getting DSL at some point today and I'm super excited. I'm going to download something real big to celebrate. We got the extra fancy, extra fast DSL hahah. Also I am posting via laptop on my couch which makes me feel almost half rich. :)
Our Pittsburgh show got cancelled so I'm kinda bummed out today. It's all right though because with all the money we saved we're gonna go do something fun this weekend or next. Plus we still have our show this Saturday and Mike said since the Mad Conductor dropped he was going to fill up my gas tank because there's going to be so many people because me and mike promoted a TON.
I hung out with Megan last night at the game and then later on at Kings. It was really nice ..we were really close most of the time we hung out and then I waited with her for her ride for like a half hour. I really like her ...she's funny and real cute. Also, I think things with Booger and Nichole are good and I'm really happy for them. I'm not sure how things with Dom's interest is going, I just know he says he really likes her and not just because of how she looks which is different for Dom.
There's really not anything worth mentioning other than that. School is good and I made a few new friends this week and I even talked to an old friend for a while and I think her and I might start talking more which would be nice. I took off of school today though. :) That's about all I've got.
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[02 Oct 2006|09:22pm] |
I put a cd player and newish speakers in my van. It sounds a lot better!!
This week and next should be pretty good, I think. We've got a show coming up, which I'm real excited about. Also, I'm supposed to hang out with Brittany Auerbeck, Brittany Hallet and Ashlyn sometime in the next week or two. I'm really look forward to that, too. I'm going to try to figure out a schedule for band practice. I really want to start hanging out with more people than just my band.
I also think I want to start doing more. I don't know, I guess the football game showed me that things I think are stupid, might not be so stupid. So, I'm pretty much up for anything.
I really like the fact that I can't walk down the hall in school without a bunch of people yelling my name. I've never really cared about being popular or anything, but I'll admit that it's kind of nice. I'm pretty happy with the way things are going right now.
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[01 Oct 2006|12:27am] |
I can't talk to you, because you won't listen. If you're interested, you can read this.
I wasn't doing anything on purpose, and I didn't do anything to you. We were over relationship wise, you told me to move on and I did. I thought we were normal on a friendship level, so I thought it was okay to share things I was excited about ..even if that included girls. You tell me about all the cute boys you meet, so I don't understand the problem. I never tried to make you feel like shit, make you jealous or hurt you. I would never purposely do that. I'm sorry you feel that way and I'm sorry you don't want to talk to me anymore. I thought we were just normal friends. Why would I even still try to make you jealous, and why would you care? We're over that way, you said it yourself.
Don't even say you never tried doing that to me on purpose. I can remember several occasions where you even confessed doing that. Don't try to make yourself look like the good guy here. It's just bullshit. I don't care what side other people take, so go ahead and tell everyone and post all the bulletins you want on myspace. This is between me and you, and I know who's right.
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[09 Jun 2006|04:11pm] |
New Journal ..give me time to make it pretty.
Friends only ...comment or whatever and I might add you
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